One Sleepless Night

   It's 2:00 in the morning and my mind is just going crazy!!! I have so much going through my head I feel like the only way I can get it out is if I write about it. Taylor and I just found out today that we are going to be an uncle and aunt. That's right Kylie is pregnant, I can't believe my older sister is going to be a mommy I'm so happy for her and Chris but then I'm really sad. Don't get me wrong I am so happy and excited for my sister and her husband because they have been trying for a while to get pregnant, I'm just having a hard time coping with the news because I want to have a baby so badly. I feel like my marriage with Taylor has been so amazing! I wouldn't change anything that we've done together, but there is something missing. I always said that I wanted to wait 2 years before we started trying to have a baby but I feel like it's whats missing in our home.
   I know Taylor is a little nervous about having a baby I don't blame him, a baby is a HUGE decision it's going to take a lot of work, baby's are expensive, Taylor is still in school, I know we are both going to loose a lot of sleep and time with one another, and lets face it will I really be the mom I think I'm going to be? And will Taylor be the father I hope he'll be? Right now I really don't know what kind of mom I will be, and I don't know what kind of dad Taylor is going to be, all I know is I'm ready to bring a child into this world and to raise it the way Heavenly Father intended Taylor and I to raise his children. I know the risk of everything I'm saying but every time I think about what my children are going to be like or look like I get the strongest feeling that it's time.
   I have a strong testimony about eternal families. I look not only at my own wonderful family but at my husbands family and I thank the Lord that we have them here on this Earth with us today. If it weren't for our families Taylor and I wouldn't be where we are today. I know that I can be with my family forever, not just on Earth but in heaven as well. I'm going to be praying with all my might that the Lord blesses Taylor and I with a child of our own. I will be as patient as I can and do whatever my husband and the Lord wants me to do. I guess that's really all I can do for right now. I love my husband so much he is the light of my life I don't know what I would do if I ever lost him. I know I say that in all my posts but it's true I married the best man ever and I know that we will be together forever not just as husband and wife but as a family.

                                                                    I LOVE YOU TAYLOR!!!